Price of a Child

“Letter to My idol”
Dear Father,
I figured this would be a good time to write you. I know this letter will never reach you, but it needs to be written. I remember your features as clear as if you had just left the room, but the same door closed many years ago. As you’ve watched over me, I hope you don’t feel shame at the things I've done to survive and care for my children.
The devil has a way of disguising himself. I never imagined he could have so many things at once. He came for me once and took my innocence, and he returns for his pleasure, I have bred his children into his ownership instead of his family, something he seems to take pleasure in. he has a wife and yet he chooses me to do the things he desires in a woman. Am I woman? That seems to be a tricky question with a trickier answer, and after everything I’ve been through, I'm not sure I want to know that answer.
I can only hope your watching over me the way I thought you would. I need all of the protection and care I can get right now, the devil has many appearances, just ask Jackson Pryor. If he is not the devil himself, then he has met the devil in his truest form. I’ve seen the things he’s done to the others, and I know I should be considered lucky for escaping his wrath, if only to supply him is pleasure. Would you be happy for me, to know that I am escaping punishment? Or rightfully angry, to see your daughter abused in ways even more disgusting than you may have imagined?
In case you haven’t been listening closely to what has been going on around me, Pryor is taking me on a trip to the north before we depart to Nicaragua. This trip is leaving me with a horrible decision. I just wish I could know what it was like for you when you escaped. You came back a changed man and I was too scared to ask why. I could use that knowledge right now. Did you miss me? If you had a chance, I wonder if you would have left us behind for freedom. I wish I knew the answers, because I’m facing that same problem.
We are leaving Bennie behind, but taking Mattie and Etta with us. What do I do if the opportunity to run stares me in the face? Do I run and never look back, or do I stay and return to Bennie? I wish you were here.. I need your opinion, what is the price of a child?
Love,
Ginnie



“A Letter to Never Be Sent”

My Bennie-boy,
I wonder if you can possibly imagine how much I miss you every second of the day. This letter could never reach you, but in my heart I know you’ll receive the message, after spending so much time in the presence of the devil, I have no doubt in a god that will let you know I still love you.
I hope you dream of me, Mattie, and Etta, as we dream of you. If you see my face in those dreams, I just want you to hold onto it. Just know you’ll be seeing it again. I don’t know how or when, I just know it will happen. The people I owe my freedom to will help me see this through, and I would trust them with my life. I already have, come to think of it.
Words cannot explain the pain in my heart right now. I know I should talk about more than pain or being hurt, but this is all there is in my heart. The words I put on this paper are nothing to what I’m feeling. The best way to describe how I’m feeling would be to cry my eyes out on a sheet of paper and find a way to send it to you. I cant do that, so for now ill have to be happy to write a letter that I will one day be able to show you.
I wish I could understand how this will happen or why I am so certainty it will, but I don’t. I just can’t see how a god that freed me is a god that would let you stay as a slave. In the battle of god and the devil, if the devil wins a battle, god will make the battle one of worthlessness. The devil cannot, and will not, win. This is the reason I am certain we will be together again. Maybe being free has changed me, or perhaps I’ve just been listening to Ephraim too much these days.
If I could talk to you, there is so much I would have to say and ask. If only I could know how my baby boy is doing, and give him words of encouragement, you’re my child, and stronger than you realize at your age. You’ve gotten all of the good traits I was given from my parents, and none of the bad ones. People re naturally drawn to you, and I hope you use this to your advantage. Never let Pryor break your spirit. It is too beautiful to be wasted on such a man. Bennie, we will meet again.
Until That Time,
Mommy



“Gratitude”

Tyree,
I could never express how grateful I am that I met you. My family is in complete and total debt to yours’. We owe you our freedom and our newfound lives, our gratitude is immeasurable, and I hope we one day meet again.
You have all been kind to us, and me in particular. Not only have you helped me earn my freedom, you were a source of encouragement and protection during my time in Philadelphia. I still find it hard to believe that you gave me the money to buy Bennie back. I always knew I would see him again, but I didn’t suspect you were a god on earth. That is exactly what you are to my family, a man who deserves worship. Any other family who you help in your days will undoubtedly see the greatness of your character and I hope they appreciate it; you have risked more for me than I have for myself, and I can never forget that,
I’m unsure what our relationship was or would have been, but I m happy that we had it. Ill miss you here in Nicaragua, and ill keep hope alive that one day you can join us. Until that day I wish your family the best, which I know they will have with you.
All Mattie and Etta talk about it Mr. Tyree, and its obvious Bennie would have loved to meet you. You should see how jealous he gets whenever your brother and sister start up with their stories of you. He is still hurt by my leaving but he’s just so happy to be back with us. I wish you could have met him before we left, but we’ll save that meeting for another day, it’s funny how when I write the person I need to talk to most I cant think of what I want to say. There is so much that goes unspoken between us but is understood by both of us. We connected so fast, and that will last a lifetime. Whether we meet again or not, I need you to know how grateful I am to have met you, and I would do anything for you.
Sincerely,
Mercy